As Soldiers go through the transition process, they are overwhelmed with programs to help you through it. After all, its a major life transition. Having so many organizations willing to help is a good problem to have. The catch is wading through every program available to you, studying them and creating a calendar of events that makes sense for you. It can be as busy as you make it.
I’ve been blessed to serve as a member of the Special Operations Forces (SOF) community as well. If there’s anything I will say about SOF its this – we will always take care of our own. Because we are so small, everyone knows one another and there’s never a shortage of those willing to lend a helping hand.
One of the programs I was blessed to be a part of is The Honor Foundation (THF). Originally founded within the Navy Seal Community – THF expanded to the overall Active Duty SOF community throughout all branches of service. Their mission: “To serve others with Honor for life. So that their next mission is always clear and continues to impact the world.”
Prior to THF, I had done a lot of work on myself but was still on the fence between working for the Army as a civilian or forging my own path in something completely new. I felt the urge to make a decision and make it quick so that I could have a job waiting for me as soon as I retired. Time was running out and I was stressing to just make a decision and run with it. Whether that job made me happy or not wasn’t my concern – I just felt like I needed a job. But as I was making so many changes in my life, I was also shedding an old version of myself and I started to get lost in who I was anymore. Was I an Army Officer? Was I a Special Operator? Was I a real estate guy? Was I a coach? Do I even know anymore?
I looked back at my life and thought about who I was before I joined the Army. Then I thought about who I became in the Army and whether or not those two people were still the same. Now I’m moving on and there are all these different parts of me that are evolving and changing, but it feels disjointed. I wasn’t secure in any of it, so I clung on to what I knew best – the Army.
THF’s focus was different. Instead of simply rushing to update your LinkedIn profile, build a resume, network and start looking for jobs, THF forced you to pump the brakes, assess where you are and get back to figuring out who you are. What are your strengths, what are your values, what is your purpose, what drives you and how do you articulate that with confidence toward a job that fosters all of those things? That’s a tall order. LinkedIn, resumes and all that stuff are part of their program, but only after you take some time to reflect on yourself. Some people will live their whole lives before taking the time out to ask themselves what they believe their purpose is. THF gave me the space to explore it with my teammates now.
I learned that military transition programs are not built equal. Some are simply a business focused on lining their pockets rather than helping the Soldier. Some programs were fronts for headhunter companies who got paid to place you in jobs within their networks regardless if you were a good fit or not.
THF didn’t offer any guarantees. As a matter of fact, they didn’t guarantee anything at the end of the program. No guaranteed job placement, no interviews with a Fortune 500 company, nothing. Just security in understanding yourself a little bit more. To me, that’s priceless.
Throughout the process I learned how to talk about myself instead of always being focused on my team. I learned my strengths through various assessments and learned how to talk about them through storytelling. I explored my values and what drives me. I thought I knew myself, but this was a whole other level.
This was a gift. Up until this point, I never took the time to sit and reflect on who I was. I never made the time because I was always on the go, executing some mission. Everyone and everything was always more important than me. Not anymore.
I was assigned a executive life coach to help guide me through all of this. My mind was opened and my eyes were open and I started to look around and see how truly lucky I was. Many people had their heads down doing a job they hated in order to pay for the bills that paid for their lifestyle. It wasn’t fulfilling, it was sucking the life out of them. They all saved as much as they could to finally live their lives at 65. With a life expectancy in the US of about 78, that meant 13 years of finally living on your own terms. I didn’t want that. I wanted to live on my terms NOW.
I wanted a job with a sense of purpose. I wanted to do a job that not only paid well, but naturally played to my strengths and values. I wanted to enjoy what I was doing and making a difference in people’s lives. I didn’t want to just be a cog in the wheel, I wanted to make an impact. I wanted people to be able to pull their heads away from their jobs and live the lives they were meant to live, rather than living the lives they HAD to live.
Could I earn a living by working as a Walmart greeter or stocking shelves? Yes. But I wanted to live to my highest potential and I knew that my highest potential was more than that. People are capable of such extreme things as long as they push themselves. I had accomplished so much in such a short amount of time and I realized that I was just getting started.
What about you? What is your purpose? What are your strengths and values? Have you ever taken the time to stop and think about it? You should. Hell, you should do it right now. Maybe you don’t know yet. That’s okay. Keep asking yourself. What’s not okay is not doing everything you can to try and discover that. You are capable of more than you can possibly imagine if you just push yourself.